The Epiphany of a Toddler

Our family has a bright, little shiny spot in our lives and her name is Becca. She is a blonde-haired bundle of fun, laughter, and fabulousness! She's about two years old and we had the privilege of babysitting her today. She likes me (I have bubbles), but she really likes my kids and they like her right back. However, she has a special thing with my sweet hubby, Brock. He's the one who ALWAYS gets hugs and kisses (and sometimes he's the only one). What can I say? He's got a way with the ladies! :o) As she was hanging with us today, she had the startling realization that I am a mommy, too, like her mommy. Charis called for me and Becca looked at me like, "Whoa! Wait. A. Minute." Then she said, "You a mommy?!" as she furrowed her brow. It was incredibly funny to watch her process this new information.

Later in the morning, the situation came around again, only this time the subject was Brock, or as Becca would say, "Bok." She had the same startled look on her face when we explained to her that I am Charis and Isaiah's mommy and Brock is Charis and Isaiah's daddy. She looked at me, then looked at Brock, then looked back at me and said "BOK?! Daddy?!" with a slightly more intense furrowed brow.

Her mind was officially blown! She seemed ok after a while with the thought of me being a mommy, but she couldn't get over the fact that Bok is a daddy. In her mind, that was just craziness.

We do that, too, though. Don't we? With God, it's easy to think of Him as high and lofty, but we struggle sometimes to understand that He is "Abba" or "Father" and He wants us to relate to Him as such. Many people struggle with this because they didn't have a godly father who was a good example. Some fathers do horrible things to their children. If that is children's only image of a father, they will shy away from relating to God or seeing Him as a Father. (So remember that, all you dad's out there. Daddies are human and everyone makes mistakes, but the way you treat your children is spiritually important.)

I was very blessed to have a godly, loving, and patient father. Because of the relationship I have with my dad, I can easily imagine myself just crawling up in God's lap, giving Him a big hug, and telling Him all about my day. I can also imagine God lovingly correcting and disciplining me when necessary. Even so, it is hard for me to marry the concepts of God being my (Heavenly) Father and all the other incredible names and attributes I've learned about and meditated on these past few weeks.

I feel very much like little Becca trying to reconcile the fact that God is more than one thing. In fact He's all the things I've learned, Father, and many more things I've yet to discover. Even though God can not entirely be understood, He wants us to embrace every part of Him that we can...especially the intimate title and relationship of Father.

That would mean that He wants to love us, take care of us, provide for us, "kiss our boo boos" (be our Comfortor), nurture us, teach us, and provide us with a home where we are always welcome. That's what dads "should" do. That would mean that as His children, we respect, honor, and obey Him, trust His provision and care, and love Him in return.

See for yourself...

Romans 8:15-17

15 So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into his family -- calling him "Father, dear Father." 16 For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God's children. 17 And since we are his children, we will share his treasures -- for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.  

Let that one bake your noodle for a while. :o)

Confessions of an Infomercial Junkie

I am a sucker for infomercials. I don't know why I get sucked into these things. Is it the bubbly "fake" audience affirming the product with "oohhhs" and "aaahhhs," the passionate (and loud) salespeople, or is it the lingering promise of "But wait! There's more?" Who knows, but I can get sucked in faster than Jack LeLane could juice an apple!

My favorites are when it is some exercise machine or weight loss product and each testimonial comes to the set weilding a powerful weapon...their before & after pictures. Some of these pictures are unbelievable! The skeptic in me always wonders about airbrushing and photoshop, but it's different when I see the before an after of someone I know.

I can think of several people who I know have lost dramatic amounts of weight and my before memory is very different from their present reality. I also know of a beautiful young girl who I went to school with. She always had acne, but who didn't back then? I mean, come on! Anyway, she didn't like her acne so she bought a popular skin care line (no doubt about her infomercial watching habits, LOL) and it worked! She had such a great before & after that she was actually asked to be IN one of their infomercials! She now looks completely different. She's all grown up with radiant skin and has actually done some modeling.

Before and afters are amazing. That's all there is to it.

As much as I love infomercials and success stories, though, there is one that stands out among all the others.

Job was a man in scripture who knew a thing or two about pain and suffering. He also knew a thing or two about God and it was his knowledge of God that helped him survive an ordeal that included what would be most people's worst nightmares. He lost pretty much everything and everyone he loved. He got to keep his life and his wife and she was no help at all!

What was it that Job knew that helped him through all of this? He knew El-Shaddai, which means, "God Almighty." He knew that giving God your heart made all the difference in a person's life. He describes the before and after below.

Take a look:

Job 11:7-20

7 "Can you solve the mysteries of God? Can you discover everything there is to know about the Almighty? 8 Such knowledge is higher than the heavens -- but who are you? It is deeper than the underworld -- what can you know in comparison to him? 9 It is broader than the earth and wider than the sea. 10 If God comes along and puts a person in prison, or if he calls the court to order, who is going to stop him? 11 For he knows those who are false, and he takes note of all their sins. 12 An empty-headed person won't become wise any more than a wild donkey can bear human offspring ! 13 "If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! 14 Get rid of your sins and leave all iniquity behind you. 15 Then your face will brighten in innocence. You will be strong and free of fear. 16 You will forget your misery. It will all be gone like water under the bridge. 17 Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Any darkness will be as bright as morning. 18 You will have courage because you will have hope. You will be protected and will rest in safety. 19 You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help. 20 But the wicked will lose hope. They have no escape. Their hope becomes despair."  

What a difference El-Shaddai makes! From misery to hope, fear to courage, darkness to light, sin to forgiveness, and despair to safety, God Almighty is the way! It never ceases to amaze me that all I have to offer Him is my dark, dead, sinful heart and He has all of these blessings just waiting for me! I'm so glad that El-Shaddai is also infinite because that only means that I can't exhaust these blessings. There is no end to His abundance and love. What peace that brings to my heart! 

Oh Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Now don't get carried away because of my title. I know you Christmas carol nazis are about to lynch me for mentioning a Christmas song before December first, but just take a deep breath. That's it....in.....and out. It's going to be alright. :o)

I'm not really talking about Christmas carols at all, but I am talking about the comfort that is mentioned in one of them. Today's meditation was on God's attribute of Comfortor. He is our Comfortor. While I can't fathom why He would want to comfort us, I know He does. It is a part of who He is. He comforts like nothing and no one else because He created us and knows us better than anyone. He knows what will and will not comfort us.

Take a look at what scripture says about it...

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

3 All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  

God doesn't just "make us feel better." He doesn't just "show us mercy." He IS mercy. He IS comfort. He is THE SOURCE of all comfort and mercy. Without God, comfort would not exist.

Please be advised that when I say "comfort," I am not talking about a nice house, boat, 401 K, and fully funded retirement fund. I am talking about the type of comfort that you experience when nothing dulls the pain. When your heart is broken and nothing can make it feel better, He comforts. When you feel lost and lonely even when you are surrounded by friends and family who love you, He comforts. When you've lost your job, your home, or the second chance you really hoped to get, He comforts.

There is no pain on earth that God can't comfort. I have experienced His comfort on many occasions and there's nothing quite like it. I love how the passage above takes it to another level, though. While God delights in comforting us, He doesn't just take all of our problems away. He helps us survive them, learn from them, and grow because of them. Why? Verse four above tells us that He does it so that we can share the comfort of God with hurting people. However, some people are not open to God and they don't know or don't believe that He can comfort them. So how can they be comforted without The Comfortor?

You. Me. We can bring the comfort of God to hurting people who have no hope and share with them the hope we have. Isn't it nice to know that even pain and suffering can be used for good when we know the Comfortor? 

My Grace-o-meter Is Broken

There are some people who are always kind, encouraging and full of grace toward others. If someone messes up, they tell them it's not as bad as they think and proceed to tell them all their good qualities so they are not discouraged. I love those people! I can think of one person in particular who has been that for me. She encouraged me when I needed it the most and always has a way of cheering me up. She saw something in me when no one else did and she fought hard to give me the chance she thought I deserved. For that, I am eternally greatful. She is one of the nicest people I've ever met and truly seeks to honor God with her gifts and talents.

Not only that, but when she is faced with annoying, self-seeking people she does her best to try to make the situation not quite as frustrating for everyone else by keeping the peace, sharing a wink or sneaking in an understanding giggle. She just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright and she tries to keep everything in perspective.

I hope to be like her one day...full of grace. As it stands now, there are times when I think my "grace-o-meter" is broken. It doesn't happen often (thank goodness), but there are times when I am confronted with a mean, selfish, or obnoxious person and my grace level bottoms out and "mean nasty Christy" rises up to bear her teeth. My mind begins to spiral into the land of "I'm gonna tell you one thing, buddy!" From that point it just gets ugly.

In those moments, what's a girl to do? I found it ironic that I was faced with that situation today, of all days, when my meditation focus was on God's attriubute of being "full of grace." Hmmm. So if my grace-o-meter is broken, but God is full of grace, I guess I know who I need to go to for help when I'd love nothing more than to firmly put someone in their place.

It took a while for me to "get it." I fell into the temptation of mentally telling this person off when I realized I was not exhibiting grace. (Ouch, Lord! Did you have to step on my toes THAT hard?!) So I knew what I needed to do.

First of all, I needed to repent of my terrible attitude. Then I needed to ask God for help. HA! That sounded so nice like all I said was, "Dear Lord, help me," but the truth is that I prayed like a mad woman! I knew that left to myself, I may give in to the temptation to let my tongue fly off like toilet paper in a wind storm. I asked Him to teach me about His attribute of the fullness of grace by helping me to be graceful in this moment. I figured you might as well start with a doozie because anyone can be full of grace around a pleasant person. Grace is put to the test when it's hard.

And let me tell you....it was hard. However, in that prayer time, I also remembered the grace that was given to me when God sent His son to die for my sins. That must have been considerably more painful than what I was facing. He did it because He valued my soul just like He values the soul of the people who annoy me. He did it for the bigger picture.

That made me ask, "So what is the bigger picture of this situation?" My thoughts began to be led to how the value of people's souls are worth so much more than my dignity, pride, rights, comfort, respect, and feelings. My heart began to soften towards the situation eventually and I began to see that I stepped out of a place of full surrender in order to defend myself. I don't need to do that. If I fully trust God and truly want to surrender to Him, I need to maintain that attitude of surrender even if it means I am mistreated.

That's when I realized that God had just taught me what it means to be full of grace. In no way do I think I have arrived, but I do believe that God placed a little drop of grace (or even a big dollup) in my tank so that my grace-o-meter was revived.

Here's a little something about God's grace for you to cling to the next time your grace-o-meter bottoms out:

Ephesians 1:5-8

5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure. 6 So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. 7 He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.  

He Cracked The Dashboard

I love my Daddy. He is a big, snuggly teady bear type of guy with a huge heart. He is probably one of the most patient people I've ever met. He will take a lot more from people that I am capable of taking, but even my sweet Daddy has a point that you don't want to cross and when you get there....you'll know. Few people have caused him to lose control of his temper, but we had an old car once that suffered the brunt of his anger as his fist came down and cracked the entire dashboard!  We laugh about it now, but I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time.

Some people anger easily and some don't. Some people get offended easily and some don't. If you are one who is easily offended, you may want to stop reading here (disclaimer....you have been warned).

God is wrathful. Much like my sweet earthly Daddy, God can take a lot from us, but He has a line that you don't want to cross. Many people don't like to think about the wrath of God. It is easy to think about all the "good" things, like His faithfulness, mercy, holiness, wisdom, and love. Those types of things are the ones that give us the warm fuzzies as we leave church bolding singing, "He has made me glad, he has mad me glad, I will rejoice for He has made me glad!" When you mention the wrath of God, you get a weird, cockeyed look from people as if you've grown a second head.

They don't want to hear it. It scares them. It makes them uncomfortable. We don't "typically" talk about those types of things even in "Christian circles." 

But we should. "Why?" you ask (and I'm SO glad you asked!)?

1. People who claim to be Christians and yet reject the wrath of God may as well reject Him entirely. You can't pick which parts of God you'll take and which one's you'll leave at the store. He's not produce!

2. The wrath of God draws clear lines. If you obey God and are not His enemy, you have no need to worry about being on the receiving end of His wrath. His wrath is not for His children, it's for His enemies.

3. If you are a Christian, the enemies of God are YOUR enemies, too. God's wrath is just another promise of how He will take care of you and will ultimately win in the end (if you're from the old-school, this is where the white hankies start to fly!).

4. It is only when you fully embrace God's wrath as a part of His attributes that you fully understand the sacrifice He made in offering His Son to die for your sins when He very easily could have raised His mighty fist and crushed the world! Instead, He chose to offer another way....another chance. (You can thank my dear husband for that final point.)

Here's what His word says... 

Nahum 1:2-8

2 The LORD is a jealous God, filled with vengeance and wrath. He takes revenge on all who oppose him and furiously destroys his enemies! 3 The LORD is slow to get angry, but his power is great, and he never lets the guilty go unpunished. He displays his power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath his feet. 4 At his command the oceans and rivers dry up, the lush pastures of Bashan and Carmel fade, and the green forests of Lebanon wilt. 5 In his presence the mountains quake, and the hills melt away; the earth trembles, and its people are destroyed. 6 Who can stand before his fierce anger? Who can survive his burning fury? His rage blazes forth like fire, and the mountains crumble to dust in his presence. 7 The LORD is good. When trouble comes, he is a strong refuge. And he knows everyone who trusts in him. 8 But he sweeps away his enemies in an overwhelming flood. He pursues his foes into the darkness of night.  

Thank you, God, for your plan to take care of our enemies once and for all. Thank you also for your plan to save our souls once and for all. While the thought of your wrath makes us cringe sometimes, the knowledge of your love for us is far greater. Thank you for your boundaries and letting us know what they are. I accept your wrath just as I accept your love. I want all of you. Nothing else will do. 

Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

Have you ever heard the song, "Breakin' Up is Hard to Do?" It's fun little ditty from the 60's & 70's that is actually really nice to play while you clean the house. It's only fun because of the music and the beat. The words are painfully true. It is hard to break up with someone else and it's even harder to have someone you care about break up with you.

I remember when I was in middle school, couples would break up about as often as mystery meat was on the cafeteria menu. It was hard to keep up with who was "going with" who at any given moment. As we all got a few years older, the break ups became more challenging and painful because we were becoming more serious about our feelings. We wanted a serious relationship where the other person felt the same way we did. If we found that, we felt like we could fly. Once it was over...we'll let's just say it wasn't pretty.

When the high school days are over, we get to a point where we are tired of the whole break up scene and we are ready to find the last one we'll ever fall in love with. We want someone who is serious, who is ready to settle down with one person, and who plans to remain faithful to ONLY us for the rest of our lives.

By this time, we've probably learned the pain caused by somone being UNfaithful and we may find ourselves in a place where it is hard to trust. This is only exacerbated by all the stories we hear of spouses cheating on one another. It is such a painful thing to have a promise of that magnitude broken. I've listened to many women process their thoughts and feelings on this issue and I am very thankful that I have a godly husband who has always been faithful to me. I don't say that to brag, but I am merely counting my blessings. I've been on the other end where I was the girlfriend who was mistreated and that was painful enough.

Sometimes we look at God through the lens of our earthly experience and we have a hard time understanding who He is. We find it hard to trust Him because of the people who broke our trust, but God is different. Today's meditation was on His attribute of faithfulness. God is faithful. He is not one of these guys who promise faithfulness then run off with something better at the first chance He gets. He's not one who tells you that you're the apple of his eye and yet you find Him looking at everything else out of the corner of His eye. God is not a liar. God is not a cheater.

He is faithful. His promises are true and He stands by them. He will never lie to you. He means what He says. He does what He says He will do.

Here is what His word says about Him...

Lamentations 3:23

22 The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning ; Great is Your faithfulness.  

Psalm 33:4-5

4 For the word of the LORD is upright, And all His work is done in faithfulness. 5 Your lovingkindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.     

Sometimes we pray and don't get exactly what we want from God; therefore, we think God is unfaithful and He doesn't answer prayer. However, the whole time we were praying for the wrong thing, God had something better planned that He couldn't wait to give us. He is trustworththy. He is safe. He is good and faithful! There's another old song that says, "When you can't trust His hand, trust His heart." When you go through times when it doens't look like God is faithful, trust His Heart that is full of love for you!

Kamikaze Squirrels and Aardvarks. What?!

I can't tell you how many times I've questioned God. Some things just don't make sense to me. For instance, North Carolina weather. I mean come on! Can we have normal seasons, please, instead of 90 degree days like we did in November? Or how about the aardvark? What in the world?

Somethings just don't make sense to me. Don't get me wrong. I've taken some pretty good college classes that explained the whole environmental, ecosystem thing. That at least explained the kamikaze squirrels I used to have in my back yard.

From what I have heard from family and friends, there is a lot about God that doesn't make sense like how much He loves us, why He allowed His Son to die, why He lets satan get away with so much. Believe me, I have wrestled with some of these major issues and really asked God for wisdom to understand.

That's when it hits me. God is wise (which happens to be my meditation for today) and I am not. I have no business even trying to tell God how to do his job. I believe I covered my opinion on that in my other blog, The Sky Really IS the Limit .

Here you go...

Proverbs 3:19-20

19 By wisdom the LORD founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens. 20 By his knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth, and the clouds poured down rain.  

Daniel 2:19-20

19 That night the secret was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven,  

20 saying, "Praise the name of God forever and ever, for he alone has all wisdom and power. 

In God's wisdom, He created the world and everything in it. Even though we don't understand the weather, aardvarks, kamikaze squirrels, God's love, Jesus' death, and satan's existence, God does. He knows and understands everything. He is not just wise, but it is not in His nature to be UNwise. He can't do it. God is not stupid, nor does He make mistakes. There is a reason behind it all.

So you can bring your questions, confusion, hurt, and anger to God. It doesn't have to make sense to us before we can bring it to Him. We can bring all of it to Him and watch Him do something incredible with it. Everything is a part of His GOOD plan. He has no evil plans because He isn't evil. He is wise and when we learn to listen to His voice, He can share with us the information we need to fully process the maddness we live in at times.

He's ready and He can take it. Bring it!

From "Old Glory" to New Glory

We're getting pretty close to the Fourth of July when people grill out, shoot off fireworks, and fly their American flags high in the air. Regardless of how you celebrate it, the flag always means something. To some it represents our country. To others it represents the freedom & independence that we are blessed to have. There are some who see the flag and are reminded of all the lives lost and the price that was paid for that freedom. Either way, "Old Glory" is a representation of a greater thing...a banner over us that represents something meaningful to so many people.

Today's meditation caused me to raise my chin a little higher and walk a little taller. I'm not talking about American pride here, though. I meditated on another name of God, Jehovah-Nissi, which means "God our Banner."

As I mentioned the flag being a banner that represents something meaningful, this name represents something meaningful.  Take a look at these scriptures:

Psalm 60:4

4 You have given a banner to those who fear You, That it may be displayed because of the truth.  

Exodus 17:11-15

11 So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. 12 But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. 13 So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword. 14 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Write this in a book as a memorial and recite it to Joshua, that I will utterly blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven." 15Moses built an altar and named it The LORD is My Banner ;  

Ezekiel 27:7

7 "Your sail was of fine embroidered linen from Egypt So that it became your distinguishing mark ; Your awning was blue and purple from the coastlands of Elishah.  

Each one of the red words means "a sign." A sign of what? Well, in the first passage, it was a banner of Truth, the second was a banner of victory and faithfulness in battle, and the last one was one that made me squeal and giggle. (If you know me, you know I'm not lying here. I admit it. Hello. My name is Christy Edwards and I squeal and giggle.)

What got me so excited was that the same Hebrew word ("nec" meaning something lifted up, standard, signal, sign) was used for each of these passages and yet in the third passage it is translated as "distinguishing mark" as it talks about fine embroidered linen on a sail of ship. The mark on the sail was "Anything But Typical" so it became what distinguished it from others. As it sailed through the sea, others would see it coming and know that it was different from the other ships.

So, how is that relevant?

If God is our Banner (our sign, standard, or signal), those looking on should recognize a distinguishing mark on our lives. It has nothing to do with our church attendance, clothes, money, societal standing, job, or net worth. How much of God's truth is seen in us? How many battles do we allow Him to help us win? How much of us are we willing to surrender to Him in order for Him to make us different than we could ever be on our own?

Is He YOUR distinguishing mark?

What Does a Banana Taste Like?

Sovereign. That's one of those words that I've always had trouble processing. When I realized that was my meditation for today, I was like, "Oh great! This should be interesting." You know how you have words that you feel like you understand in your mind, but it's hard to describe? Yep, that is how I am with the word "sovereign." It's like someone who asks "What does a banana taste like?" (A banana!) You can say it tastes sweet, but nothing else tastes like a banana so you have nothing to compare it to.

Much like that banana, there is nothing to which I can compare the sovereignty of God. That is what trips me up. Oftentimes, I explain things by making comparisons. My brain likes to process new information by connecting it with something I'm already familiar with so when I have to think of God's sovereignty, my brain grows weary of trying to compare it to the familiar.

Anything that we can come up with can not compare to the sovereignty of God. It's really a combination of several of His attributes that I've already blogged about all rolled up into one. Consider this:

Jehovah  +  Omniscient  +  Omnipresent  +  Omnipotent  +  Infinite = Sovereignty of God  

Translate that equation into a sentence and you've got:

I AM ultimate knowledge, existing everywhere at once, and abundantly powerful without beginning, end, or limits. Whoa! That really puts it in perspective.

Scripture says:

1 Chronicles 29:11-13

Yours, O LORD, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O LORD, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. 12 Riches and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and it is at your discretion that people are made great and given strength. 13 "O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name!  

As I have embarked on this journey, I have processed God piece by piece. I have taken it one attribute at a time or one name at a time to learn more about His character. Each day, I have been blown away by who God is and who He will always be. It isn't that he "tries" to be these things. He just IS.

Because God is sovereign, we have access to knowledge and limitless power as He surrounds us in every part of creation and allows His spirit to live in us. The Spirit of the sovereign God, the creator of all things, chooses to live in us to guide us, strengthen us, and help us on our journey.

Whoa!

Read that last sentence again. Doesn't that blow your mind?!

I was right in the beginning when I said that I have nothing to compare it to. Nothing compares to that!

Put Your Dukes Up!

I'm pretty scrappy. Ever since I was little, I wanted to fight and wrestle with my dad and my brother. I don't like to give in and I will continue even if I'm wounded. My mom always said I would get hurt, run to her and cry, then right jump back in the pile. I would always tell people that I never played sports because I wasn't a competitive person. The truth is that I'm just TOO competitive. Growing up, I was never a good sportsman and I HATED to lose.

Every once in a while, I would stumble upon someone who was just as scrappy as I was and we'd have a battle to see who was the toughest. My mom would often lecture me for playing a game called "6 inches." For those who don't know, "6 inches" is a game where you make a fist and position yourself exactly 6 inches from your opponents flexed bicept. Then you directly punch them as hard as you can without pulling your fist back for added force. They take their turn and this continues until one person can't take it anymore. I finally saw the light on that one when I came home with 6 inch black bruises on both arms and could hardly move them. Game over.

While you may not have heard of "6 inches," you've probably heard of the game called "Mercy" (or as some people call it, "Uncle"). This is a game where you interlock your fingers with your opponent and you both begin to simultaneously maneuver your hands to see who can get their opponent into a position of pain to the point where they surrender. In order to surrender, one has to say "Mercy!" in order to be released.

Hey what can I say? I was the only girl in the house raised with an older brother for most of my life. It was survival of the fittest!

This game came to my mind as I began to think about today's attribute of God, which is "God is merciful."

Many people think of God as an opponent in the game of mercy. They think He just punishes you or hurts you until you can't take it and you finally beg for "Mercy!" It breaks my heart that people think that way and I desperately want them to know the truth. That is NOT what mercy is at all.

The truth is more along the lines of the fact that we were caught in the death grip of sin. In fact, the truth is that we were dead in sin (we're talking skeleton here), never truly knowing how to live. Then God steps into the picture with His perfect search & rescue plan, allowing His only Son to endure the humiliating death on the cross as the final sacrifice that would ever be needed to cleanse us of our sin. In that instant, the grip of death and sin lost it's power and there was no need for us to cry out for mercy. It was freely offered and freely given. There is nothing left for us to do but walk away from the sin that had bound us and walk into the outstretched arms of our Redeemer.

Here's what Holy Scripture says:

Daniel 9:9

9 But the Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.

Deuteronomy 4:29-31

29 From there you will search again for the LORD your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him. 30 "When those bitter days have come upon you far in the future, you will finally return to the LORD your God and listen to what he tells you. 31 For the LORD your God is merciful -- he will not abandon you or destroy you or forget the solemn covenant he made with your ancestors.  

Mercy is the fact that God loved us when we were unloveable, offered the gift of His Son when had nothing to give in return, forgave us of a debt we could not pay. I am not worthy of the mercy that has been offered to me. God forbid that I ever take it for granted!

Holy Father,

You're love and your mercy are too much for me to comprehend. Even though I am so unworthy, you gave me the best gifts of all. You gave me freedom, healing, hope, life, forgiveness, mercy, and the promise of eternal life. In my human mind, it makes no sense to love someone like me, but you do and I am so thankful. Thank you that you love us all and offer this gift to every single person you've created. Help us to know you and love you more with every passing day. You are worthy of all our praise!

In Jesus Holy Name I pray,
Amen

Missing, But Not Alone

My brother has been missing for about three months now. I can't explain what other people feel when a family member goes missing, but I can tell you what happened to me. The minute I found out, my stomach felt like a clinched fist unable to release it's grip. My mind began to race wondering what happened, where he had gone, what was happening to him, and if he was safe or not. I found myself developing a ferocious desire to go out and find him. Friends and family pulled together to post flyers, spread the word on facebook, and even form a search party. We had people coming out of the woodworks offering to help in anyway they could. My heart has never been so moved and touched.

We actually did search for him, but had no luck. The feeling of searching for a missing person that you care very deeply for is unmistakably surreal. It's like living in a dream. Nothing seems real and everything is under intense inspection.

The drive home from our failed attempt was long and profound. Humanly speaking, I was completely helpless in this situation. My eyes never left the side of the road in a final effort to hopefully find him down an embankment. As we drove home, I had to come face to face with the reality that we may never find him. If he was alive and well and just didn't want to be found, I would never see my brother again in this life. If he was not alive and well, I would have to wait until I get to heaven to see him again. While the certainty of a heavenly reunion is reassuring, the pain of not having him around is certainly not something I want to face. I love my brother dearly and I miss him so much.

As I reflected on today's attribute of God I realized it has been the ONE thing that has brought me peace in this whole ordeal: God is omnipresent. Even though I don't have any connection with my brother right now, I have a deep connection with His Creator and His Creator is with him wherever he is. How do I know? Being omnipresent means that God is everywhere all at once. The same God who comforts my heart right now as I type this is also with my brother wherever He is.

Take a look at how scripture describes it:

Psalm 139:7-12

7 I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence!  8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. 9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. 11 I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night -- 12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you.

If my brother is in trouble, I can feel the assurance that he is not alone because my prayers for my brother are being heard by the God who is with him. Even if he is no longer alive, I know that he is in the presence of God and will never be alone again. The same God who is faithful to me and so many others is faithful to my brother who is out of my reach, but he's not out of God's reach.

It's at times like these when the fact that God is omnipresent really means so much. It is a comfort during this difficult and painful situation. The situations that are too big for us are NOT too big for God.

A song for my brother and anyone else out there who needs to know you're not alone:



Mr. Know-It-All

We all know one (at least one) person who thinks they know everything. These are the obnoxious people who correct you when you weren't even wrong only to tell you how you could have been MORE right. They throw in needless information because they feel that the conversation is somehow inadequate without their contribution. Here in the south, these people end up earning a nickname: Mr. or Mrs. Know-It-All. While some people would love nothing more than to be called that in public (for everyone to hear), I assure you, it's not a compliment. 

There is One who is the ultimate "know-it-all" and He is God. The proper term is called "omniscient." It means that God knows everything. It sounds like it means that God is just really smart and knows all there is to know, but it's deeper than that. Much deeper.

Let's take a look...

Psalm 139:1-6

1 O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. 3 You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. 5 You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!  

It gets a little more personal when you realize that God knows everything about you. He knows your thoughts, your words, your motives, your secrets, your sin, your weaknesses and your strengths. He knows when you stand, sit, walk, run and kneel (ahem). He knows your limitations and when you need to rest. He knows when you've had all you can take and when you can push a little further. He knows all of your wounds, heartaches and brokenness, but He also knows all of your pride, arrogance, and selfishness. Wherever you go, He has gone before and will go after you.

I don't know about you, but that is a pretty scary thought. The God of all creation knows EVERYTHING about me. I mess up. I am FAR from perfect and I don't always do the right thing. I'm a human who was born with a sin nature just like everyone else on the planet. I am hopeless without Him. I know how easy it is to slip into sin and how hard repentance can be. I look at all the things I know about myself and all things God knows about me and I am humbled...especially by the last part of verse 5 in the previous scripture. It says, "...You place your hand of blessing on my head."

Such knowledge truly is too wonderful for me and too great for me to know! He knows it all...AND YET. Those are two of my favorite words because it means that in spite of us, God can do some incredible things that are Anything But Typical. It's not typical to love people who betray you. It's not typical to bless people who curse you. It's not typical to offer life to those who are dead in sin...but He did because not only does He know your past, and your present, but He knows what you CAN be with Him.

WOW! Even though we are miserable wretches without God, He still extends His hand of love and blessing. He knows all of our sin and yet He loves us anyway! I am so unworthy!

Gold in a Sea of Gravel

"I've got this! It's all under control. I don't need anyone's help. I can take care of myself. If I want it done right, I better do it myself." Ever heard anyone say anything like these phrases? Have you ever said them yourself? I know I have. I've tried to be Ms. Independent and Ms. Tough Girl, but it ws all in an effort to protect myself or prove that what I had to say was valid. It really just boils down to pride.

We all want to be validated and feel self-worth. Many of us think that we are the ONLY ones with a valid opinion and that it's our job to ensure that everyone else knows it. (You know you just thought of someone in your head...don't even try to deny it. LOL) When left in that state of mind, it is easy to believe we are self-sufficient as if somehow God struck pure gold when He created us and filled the rest of humanity with gravel.

Pride. I'll say it again...PRIDE.

Here is the truth about self-sufficiency: God is the only one who is truly self-sufficient. It's one of His attributes. Take a look:

Acts 17:24-28 (NLT)

24 "He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn't live in man-made temples, 25 and human hands can't serve his needs -- for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need there is. 26 From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand which should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries. 27 "His purpose in all of this was that the nations should seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him -- though he is not far from any one of us. 28 For in him we live and move and exist. As one of your own poets says, 'We are his offspring.'  

He clearly doesn't need our help with anything and we clearly need His help for everything. He has no need for assistance from us. He is the Creator and the One who filled an entire planet full of people by starting with only one man and one woman. It's nothing we could have done on our own without God's perfect design.

Furthermore, it is in Him that we live, move and even exist. We can't even breathe without God allowing it so how in the world do we think we can handle our problems, stress, addictions and sin without His help at every moment? How could we possibly overcome any of it without His help? We can't.

What does that mean for us? It means that we need to recogize the self-sufficiency of God, acknowledge our inability to be self-sufficient (less we become a victim of pride), and surrender every moment  to Him for His glory. You know that moment when you're about to put someone in their place? Yep, surrender that moment to Him and see how that changes the situation. That moment when you want to retaliate for someone being a complete jerk to you? Yep, surrender that moment, too. God is sufficient. He is enough. In fact, He is more than enough and more than we can handle in this lifetime. 

Oh, and one more thing to really bake your noodle: He is not far from any one of us (read verse 27 again). Don't think He's too far away to meet your needs. He is everywhere you go waiting for you to rely entirely upon Him alone. Let's not keep Him waiting.  

Strap Up, Girl, It's Time To Wrestle!

Hey, I warned you this might happen. I told you that I would be totally honest on this journey and I also warned you that you may have a front row seat to watch me wrestle with some elements of God. Today's your lucky day!

Today's meditation was on a name of God, Jehovah-rophe, which means "the God who heals."

Stop there. In all honesty, this has been my biggest struggle with God. This is an area of God that I don't understand....at all. I get the fact that He provides spiritual healing, moral healing, and what some people call "the ultimate healing" which is just a nice way of saying "since your dead now, you don't have to be tormented by your diseases anymore."

What I don't understand is the physical healing. I read in scripture where He healed people.  Jesus healed scores of people when He walked the earth. I have even heard of miraculous healings that couldn't be explained any other way than the prayers that were lifted up to heaven on another person's behalf.

However, I have never personally had any prayers for healing answered...that I know of. I have known some people that I have spent a great deal of time in prayer for their healing, but it never came. In fact, they only got worse with time. Because of that, I have really struggled with this aspect of God.

Let me get one thing straight, though, I fully believe in my heart that God CAN heal and that if we are healed, it is only through His power. I believe that what scripture says is true:

Exodus 15:26 (NLT)

He [God] said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you."

I believe God is our Healer in every way. I generally don't struggle with believing in the parts of God that I can not see, but I do struggle in this department. I desperately want to see God heal some people in my life right now. My heart breaks for a friend who's body is killing her ftom the inside out. I am also burdened for a gentleman at my church who has had some health problems for a while and has asked God for healing, but hasn't received it. My heart is broken that these people have desperately wanted God to move on their behalf and yet they are still sick.

These people love God. Only God knows their heart entirely, but when I look at these situations through human, faulty eyes I just don't understand and it makes me angry (can you hear my "Hmph!" and feel the vibration of my stomping foot?). There has to be more to this that we don't see and understand and I can't tell you how badly I want to understand.

This is where satan and his buddies love to sneak in and start whispering lies like:

"Well, obviously the problem isn't Him so it has to be you. Maybe you're just too sinful. Maybe He isn't listening. Maybe He doesn't care about what you care about. Maybe you're praying wrong. You'll never get this right so you may as well stop trying. Maybe you didn't say the right words in the right order. Maybe He just doesn't want to heal. Maybe He doesn't care anymore. You should be mad at Him. That'll show really Him!"

If you couldn't tell, satan and his buddies are idiots. Their jibberish makes no sense and my spirit rejects it entirely, but that doesn't mean he'll stop trying. He'll take every opportunity he can get to make us doubt God.

Even though I don't fully understand why God does what He does (after all, He is sovereign, holy, and infinite and I am not), I have learned that He is ok with us wrestling with Him. In fact, He invites it. So, I'm going to keep trying to understand this part of God even though it may take me until my "ultimate healing" to finally "get" it.

I still believe that God is all the things I've learned over the past 14 days and more. Maybe I'll learn something in the journey that will shed some light on this life-long wrestling match. Regardless, He's got my full attention.

How Much is a Soul Worth These Days?

Ten days ago, I meditated on "Jehovah-M'Kaddesh," which is one of the names of God. It means "the God who sanctifies." I posted a song to go with that blog post called "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road. I love the bridge of that song that says:

What do I know of holy?

What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?

And the God who gave life it's name?

What do I know of holy?

Of the One who the angels praise?

All creation knows Your name.

On earth and heaven above

What do I know of this love?

That part wrecks me every time I hear it: "What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?"

We look at the cross through the eyes of followers who couldn't believe what they were seeing, through the eyes of a broken-hearted mother who was watching her son suffer a cruel and humiliating death, or through the eyes of people who have heard so much about the death of Jesus their whole lives that they forget its power. Regardless of how we look at the cross and what Jesus did, I think most of us miss a valuable component of the whole situation.

How did God see the cross? Did he hurt? Was he angry? Did he want to slap the stupid smirk right off the devil's face? How does a holy God look upon the cruelty of the cross?

(Key word: holy. Today's meditation was on the fact that God is holy.)

How does a holy God look at my shame? How does a holy God look at the sin that caused my shame? How does a holy God deal with my sin, shame, and the punishment that I deserve?

Let's see what scripture says about the holiness of God:

Isaiah 40:25-31 (NLT)

25 "To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal?" asks the Holy One. 26 Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out one after another, calling each by its name. And he counts them to see that none are lost or have strayed away. 27 O Israel, how can you say the LORD does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? 28 Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. 29 He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. 30 Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. 31 But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.  

For a God who has no equal, created all that exists, knows the name of every star and ensures that no star gets lost, never gets tired, and has understanding so deep that it can't be measured, it's pretty safe to say that He looks at everything differently than we do. His perspective is beyond our ability to comprehend on our own.

So for a holy God that can be described as such, how does He deal with my sin, shame, and the punishment that I deserve? A cross. While I don't believe for a second that the cross was easy to endure or to watch, I believe that God, in His perfect and holy perspective, looked past the pain, humiliation and betrayal and saw all of the souls that would be saved from eternal punishment through this one final Divine sacrifice.

Your soul has great value to God. My soul has great value to God. Though what God went through was hard, He thought it would be harder to spend eternity without us. He did what was necessary to rescue our souls even though it cost Him something. That is holy.

That is just SO wrong!

Every generation has "catch phrases" that are popular and repeated often. Here are a few examples of what I mean:

"Nifty! Neato! Righteous! Radical! Gnarly! Dude! Sike! Cool! Right ON! That's PHat! You're the bomb! Shut! Up!Totally! I know, right?!"

Some may make you giggle as they take you back through a couple decades worth of memories (I know I'm giggling!), but one that is big for the generation coming up is, "That is just SO wrong!" It is an interesting phrase because it relies heavily on the context of the conversation or situation. Someone may say something that they think is funny and another person will respond, "That's just SO wrong!" They aren't really saying the person is wrong. What they are saying in this instance is, "Man, that is hilarious!"

In other cases, something wrong is actually occurring and they'll say, "That is SO wrong!" Whether they are passing judgement or simply trying to distance themselves from any incrimination, it's hard to tell. What they have done, though, is create a catch phrase for what most people are already thinking.

Humans judge one another incessantly. I don't know of a single person who has never been judgemental, including myself. To deny it simply makes you a liar. We have all done it at some point in our lives. We have looked at another person and taken in the information of how they look, speak, dress, act, pray, or whatever and made an assessment in our minds of whether they are right, wrong, good, or bad. Some even go so far as to say they think they know what should happen to that person or what they deserve.

This is where God might say, "Whoa! Hold up! Let's re-evaluate this a bit, shall we?" Then He might lead us to this passage of scripture from His word:

New Living Translation (NLT)	The Message (MSG)
1 We thank you, O God! We give thanks because you are near. People everywhere tell of your mighty miracles.	1 We thank you, God, we thank you - your Name is our favorite word; your mighty works are all we talk about.
2 God says, "At the time I have planned, I will bring justice against the wicked.	2 You say, "I'm calling this meeting to order, I'm ready to set things right.
3 When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm. Interlude	3 When the earth goes topsy-turvy And nobody knows which end is up, I nail it all down, I put everything in place again.
4 "I warned the proud, 'Stop your boasting!' I told the wicked, 'Don't raise your fists!	4 I say to the smart alecks, 'That's enough,' to the bullies, 'Not so fast.'"
5 Don't lift your fists in defiance at the heavens or speak with rebellious arrogance.'"	5 Don't raise your fist against High God. Don't raise your voice against Rock of Ages.
6 For no one on earth -- from east or west, or even from the wilderness -- can raise another person up.	6 He's the One from east to west; from desert to mountains, he's the One.
7 It is God alone who judges; he decides who will rise and who will fall.	7 God rules: he brings this one down to his knees, pulls that one up on her feet.

I put two different versions of the same scripture here for a reason. I love them both! They are both saying the same thing, but they say it in different ways. Look at verse seven in the MSG version:

"God rules: he brings this one down to his knees and pulls that one up on her feet."

I don't know about you, but I have been both of those people. God has had to bring me to my knees before in broken repentance and discipline. Then there were other times when God has pulled me to my feet.

Did you notice who is doing the bringing down and lifting up? It's not us. It is God and ONLY God because He is just. That was my meditation for today: God is just. He knows all of our hearts and He knows who needs to be brought down and who needs to be lifted up. He alone knows who deserves what and how they should be disciplined.

I have been guilty in the past of looking at a person and deeming them as hopeless, but God is the only One who knows the truth and knows how to handle each person with His perfect, infinite wisdom.

So, perhaps it's time to put the gavels down. Maybe we should all ask God to help us see others the way He would want us to see them....through the eyes of love, grace, and mercy while we let HIM take care of the justice (and He will). 

My Mind is Officially Blown

It is so challenging to try to understand God's nature, names, and attributes with this limited, finite mind. It is hard for me to image a limitless existence. Today's meditation was on another attribute of God. God is transcendent.

Transcendent. What does that mean?

Psalm 113:4-6

4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens.5 Who is like the LORD our God, the One who sits enthroned on high 6 who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?  

The earth is enormous. The heavens are immeasurable. To think of God having to stoop down to look on either one blows my mind.

God is not simply the top dog or the big wig of the universe. He is beyond our universe. He created all that we experience with our senses. Everything that can be studied, measured, added, felt, tasted, touched, seen, and heard are things God created.

He was never created. He just IS and always will be. He is to be exalted and honored above all creation.

So what does that mean for us? It means our God is above all the problems and trials we face. He is above all the petty junk we have to deal with. It means He is beyond our reach and comprehension...and yet He draws us to Him and wants us to know Him. He wants us to try to understand Him even though we aren't quite fully capable of doing so. If we seek Him, He will be found because this great big God that we serve wants to have a relationship with us.

Talk about something that blows your mind!

Most of you know how much I love music. It is such a huge part of my relationship with God so I'd like to share one of my favorite songs with you. Please take a few minutes to listen to it and as you listen to the words, think about how God is transcendent and how He will always remain: