Don't Lose Your Head

Life in a church is interesting. It truly is like a family. We are not perfect and we mess up just like anyone else (I know I do anyway). We are all like a bunch of brothers and sisters. I have come to love many people I have known in my church experiences, especially over the past year, but others can be what I call "grace growers" or "santification testers." Some argue and fuss all the time. Some get mad and want to retaliate. Some are the tattle-tales of the bunch while others are the awkward "middle" child who can't really figure out what their place is in the chuch. Others are the "mother hen" types who feel like they need to take care of everyone (i.e. boss everyone around and get them in trouble when they don't do something the way they think it should be done). I've had the privilege of attending and visiting many different churches and I have come to find out that they all have a similar situation. They act like real family, some in healthy ways, some in not-so-healthy ways. Shoot, most of them are run by actual clans of family members. I remember this one church I attended where 90% of the congregation was somehow related. If you say something in front of one person, you may as well have said it to the whole church!

It is interesting because as I listen to my children when they get frustrated with each other, I hear the same argument coming up.

"You don't listen to me!"

"You never do anything I want to do!"

"Why does it always have to be your way?"

"You need to do it like this."

"You're mean!"

"You're bossy!"

"I'm telling!"

Sadly, it doesn't sound very different in many "church families." Many people come to church and think they need to tell the pastor, worship leader/song leader, soundboard technician, and custodian (as well as anyone else who will listen) they way things should be done. The carpet should be a certain color. The volume level is too loud/soft. The words on the screen are too big/too small. A screen?! No, we need need hymnals and Bibles we can hold! The songs are....well, you've probably heard of "worship wars." There is a reason it's called a war. It certainly isn't called worship "peace talks."

People in churches everywhere are drawing a line in the sand and demanding their way like little children forgetting the entire purpose for which they exist. They think they know how to do it best and that everyone should listen to them. They begin to dominate and control with fear and it is disgusting to be quite honest with you.

I think many people have either forgotten or have never learned a vital component that should (I repeat SHOULD) be transforming churches everywhere. It is a truth that is so revolutionary that it can't be overlooked and yet it is the one that is hardest for people to embrace.

You ready? I'm just going to lay it on you.

It's. Not. About. You. Not even you Grandma.

This is why it's not about you:

Ephesians 1:22-23 (NIV)

22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

For this particular verse, I like how The Message version words it better:

Ephesians 1:22-23 (The Message)

22 He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything. At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. 23 The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ's body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.  

The reason it's not about you is because GOD is the head of the church. He is the one who is in charge and I'm pretty sure that He has bigger issues to deal with than the way human beings think a church should look, smell, or sound. So what IS He concerned about? What does HE want?

He wants a family of believers who allow HIM to dictate what is or is not done because they trust Him implicitly. This means He wants us all to surrender our wills and align our hearts to HIS will and HIS plans. He wants Christ to be the ultimate authority (the head) that leads and guides the church, which only acts as His spirit-filled body. He wants us to be able to hear His voice, discern His leading, and follow without complaint or hesitancy.

If you think of your head and your body, do you think of them separately with each doing something different? No! Your head is attached to your body and your head contains your brain, which is the organ that transmits all the orders and instructions to your body. It tells your lungs when to breath, your eyes when to blink in order to avoid being poked, your hand when to scrath your nose, and alerts your foot when you've just stepped on a sharp object. Your head contols your body. That is how it should be in the church.

That is how God designed it to work. Christ (God the Son) is the head. We are the body. We need to do what He wants us to do. What He wants us to do will not always go along with the way we think it should be done. The question is: Are we willing to lay down our selfish, mediocre plans and embrace the grand and glorious plans of God to reach a lost and hurting world with the truth of His love, grace and mercy?

Hmmmmm....where IS that suggestion box?

My Grace-o-meter Is Broken

There are some people who are always kind, encouraging and full of grace toward others. If someone messes up, they tell them it's not as bad as they think and proceed to tell them all their good qualities so they are not discouraged. I love those people! I can think of one person in particular who has been that for me. She encouraged me when I needed it the most and always has a way of cheering me up. She saw something in me when no one else did and she fought hard to give me the chance she thought I deserved. For that, I am eternally greatful. She is one of the nicest people I've ever met and truly seeks to honor God with her gifts and talents.

Not only that, but when she is faced with annoying, self-seeking people she does her best to try to make the situation not quite as frustrating for everyone else by keeping the peace, sharing a wink or sneaking in an understanding giggle. She just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright and she tries to keep everything in perspective.

I hope to be like her one day...full of grace. As it stands now, there are times when I think my "grace-o-meter" is broken. It doesn't happen often (thank goodness), but there are times when I am confronted with a mean, selfish, or obnoxious person and my grace level bottoms out and "mean nasty Christy" rises up to bear her teeth. My mind begins to spiral into the land of "I'm gonna tell you one thing, buddy!" From that point it just gets ugly.

In those moments, what's a girl to do? I found it ironic that I was faced with that situation today, of all days, when my meditation focus was on God's attriubute of being "full of grace." Hmmm. So if my grace-o-meter is broken, but God is full of grace, I guess I know who I need to go to for help when I'd love nothing more than to firmly put someone in their place.

It took a while for me to "get it." I fell into the temptation of mentally telling this person off when I realized I was not exhibiting grace. (Ouch, Lord! Did you have to step on my toes THAT hard?!) So I knew what I needed to do.

First of all, I needed to repent of my terrible attitude. Then I needed to ask God for help. HA! That sounded so nice like all I said was, "Dear Lord, help me," but the truth is that I prayed like a mad woman! I knew that left to myself, I may give in to the temptation to let my tongue fly off like toilet paper in a wind storm. I asked Him to teach me about His attribute of the fullness of grace by helping me to be graceful in this moment. I figured you might as well start with a doozie because anyone can be full of grace around a pleasant person. Grace is put to the test when it's hard.

And let me tell you....it was hard. However, in that prayer time, I also remembered the grace that was given to me when God sent His son to die for my sins. That must have been considerably more painful than what I was facing. He did it because He valued my soul just like He values the soul of the people who annoy me. He did it for the bigger picture.

That made me ask, "So what is the bigger picture of this situation?" My thoughts began to be led to how the value of people's souls are worth so much more than my dignity, pride, rights, comfort, respect, and feelings. My heart began to soften towards the situation eventually and I began to see that I stepped out of a place of full surrender in order to defend myself. I don't need to do that. If I fully trust God and truly want to surrender to Him, I need to maintain that attitude of surrender even if it means I am mistreated.

That's when I realized that God had just taught me what it means to be full of grace. In no way do I think I have arrived, but I do believe that God placed a little drop of grace (or even a big dollup) in my tank so that my grace-o-meter was revived.

Here's a little something about God's grace for you to cling to the next time your grace-o-meter bottoms out:

Ephesians 1:5-8

5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure. 6 So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. 7 He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.  

I feel like a blonde joke.

Years ago, blonde jokes were "all the rage." Every time you turned around someone was coming up with another joke about people with blonde hair (implying, of course, that they are all dumb air-heads). Even though I was born with blonde hair, I must admit that I have laughed at my fair share of those jokes. One of my favorites goes something like this:

How do you kill a blonde? Answer: Put spikes on her shoulder pads!

Yeah, yeah, I know. Not only is that one mean, but it is totally dated. For any of my younger friends, you're probably thinking, "What the heck are shoulder pads?" You don't want to know.

I say all of that to say that I felt like a blonde today because as I meditated on today's attribute of God, I kept finding myself getting lost in thought, cocking my head to one side, and staring blankly into space with a confused look on my face.

Omnipotent. God is onmipotent.

Omnipotent is one of those terms that can easily be "church-i-fied" (a christy-ism, of course), underestimated, and taken for granted. Many of the sacred words used to describe God have been said so much in the church that people often say them without even understanding what they mean.

Omnipotent means that God is powerful. Not only that, but if you remember yesterday's blog, I wrote how God is infinite (no limits whatsoever). So when you put those two together, you get an unlimited God who has unlimited power.

HARD. Concept. For me. To grasp.

Check this out:

Jeremiah 32:17-18, 26-27

17 "O Sovereign LORD! You have made the heavens and earth by your great power. Nothing is too hard for you! 18 You are loving and kind to thousands, though children suffer for their parents' sins. You are the great and powerful God, the LORD Almighty.

26 Then this message came to Jeremiah from the LORD: 27 "I am the LORD, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?

My human brain is so finite and limited that I just can't understand the reality of no limits. I look at myself and my own life and see LOTS of limits. I try to be a positive person, but the truth is that I can be very skeptical, cynical, and negative sometimes (and when I am feeling that way, I don't want all your cutsie smilie faces and jokes, LOL). As most of you would imagine, I am not this way as often as I used to be because of the grace of God and the things he has taught me over this past year and half of my life.

Still, my life as a human being is very limited. I have hopes and dreams that will never be fulfilled. I have put a cap on the whole height thing and it's all a journey to munchkinland from this point forward (bone loss with age, yadda yadda yadda). I have to wait in the check out line holding one item while the person in front of me has a full cart and I'm in a hurry. I have to endure the idiot drivers who think its ok to speed and ride my bumper while I pretend they're honking because they love Jesus.

I am limited. This world is my temporary home, thankfully, and I look forward to the day where I don't have to worry with the limitations of this life. But for now, I am a limited person trying to understand an unlimited God.

This verse says that:

1. Nothing is too hard for God.

2. He loves people (even when the children are suffering for the sins of their parents) and is kind to them.

3. He is great and powerful.

Even though I can't fathom the love, power, and greatness of God with my faulty human brain, there are some things I understand with my heart.

I understand that because of God's omnipotence, I am safe with Him. He loves me in spite of my faults and has the power to do anything. Read that again: anything.

If God has the power to do anything, why do I struggle with doubt? Why do I worry? What is there to fear if God is on my side?! Nothing!

Our struggles and pain in this life can be too much to bear at times, but it's not too hard for God.

And now, I must go continue my meditation because at this point, I want Him to search my heart and show me anything that I have been afraid to give over to Him. Are there any reigns that I simply can't let go of? I want to know so I can confess that to Him and be healed.

I serve an unlimited God who has such an abundance of power that NOTHING is too difficult for Him. That means it's time for me to let go of it all and trust Him completely. How about you?

Like Inigo Montoya says...

For those of you who know me, you know that I absolutely LOVE the movie, "The Princess Bride." Getting into a quote battle with me is like going against a Sicilian when death is on the line....you just don't do it. (See how I snuck that one in there?) Much of the conversation that takes place in my home is filled with accents and all sorts of movie quotes. If you've never seen the movies we quote, you'd think we were all insane after one trip to my home (yes, you read right..."we all" means that we've corrupted...or enhanced...our children with this practice).

One of my favorite quotes from Inigo Montoya (OK, seriously, if this name is unfamiliar to you, go watch "The Princess Bride." Go on...I'll wait.) is when he says, "Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up." He had a whale of a story to share with the man in black, but he was short on time. That is how I feel right now.

I have so much to say, but I have to summarize it into one blog. HA!

This past year has just been nuts. At this time last year, I was in great need of a creative outlet. I had so much in my heart and mind that I couldn't hold it inside any longer. Thus, my blog was born. Right around that time, I also had a birthday. I turned 33. That is a pretty big number...not age-wise, of course, but Biblically speaking. At the age of 33, Jesus Christ suffered a horrendously brutal death to save every human being on earth from the bondage of sin and eternal punishment. I can't imagine CHOSING to do something like that at my age. But he did. They didn't "take" his life from him. He gave it freely with a purpose.

That thought intrigued me so I prayed a prayer. You'll think I'm nuts when you read what I prayed, but hang out with me long enough and you'll know I'm nuts regardless. Here's what I prayed:

Holy Father,

I want to dedicate this next year to Christ. I want to draw nearer, be more connected, and I want to understand him more. By this time next year, I want to BE more like Christ. This year is yours. Take it and do as you wish for your glory.

In Jesus' Name, Amen

Yep...I did it. I know, right? Apparently, that got God's attention and He got right to work. Things began to shift rapidly and all of a sudden I felt like I had been sucked into a vortex. My life dramatically changed (thus limiting my time for blogging, but that's another story for another day). From my relationships, family, and location, to my church experience, relationship with God, and my employment. Nothing is the same. Some changes are good, but some changes were painful. As you may have read in my previous blog, I have faced some definite trials along the way....some that had significant impact. It wasn't until I had a conversation with my husband that I began to see how God answered my prayer.

I was feeling very much like the devil's chew toy when my husband said, "But you don't understand. Through this situation, I have seen you become more like Christ. I have seen Christ in you more than ever as you worked through this. When you faced this situation years ago, it destroyed you. This time is different."

It IS different because I have learned to live my life surrendered to the King. When we hold on too tightly to the things of this world, it hurts when they are taken away. When we hold tightly to eternal things, they will never be taken away.

As I approach my next birthday this summer, I anxiously anticipate the things God has in store for me in the big 3-4. I have a feeling it will be nothing I would have dreamed to ask for and so much better than I could think up on my own (Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts!).

I'm yours God. I'm all in....the point of no return. Fire swamps and all.