The Forgotten One

Vulnerability is not something that comes easy to most of us and yet, I am embarking on an incredibly vulnerable journey that begins today on the first day of Lent. Some friends and I have decided to read a book, Draw the Circle, for the 40 days leading up to Easter. It's day one and I'm already struggling due to the content.

See, it is a prayer journey and the basic idea of it is that you pray big, bold prayers consistently and watch God do big, bold things. Here's where it gets vulnerable for me (and I in turn get incredibly vulnerable with you): 

I struggle with prayer.



Source: Public Domain

Yes, I know. What Christian struggles with prayer?! Well, probably more than you think. Many people think that Christians are supposed to have everything together, which is why so many people are distraught when we mess up. The truth is that we are all just a big hot mess like anyone else and we need God to help us. You'll never meet a Christian in this life who has it all together perfectly; if you think you found one, pinch yourself really hard cause, baby, you're dreaming.

So here's my deal. I have no problem praying for others. I believe God wants to heal, save, bring peace, give comfort, bless, show love, and all of those wonderful types of things. It's easy to pray those prayers because they are no-brainers. It would be like me praying that my husband would drive his car to work tomorrow morning. OF COURSE he is going to drive his car tomorrow morning because he always does. So praying for that would be easy and, naturally, my prayer would be answered.

Easy prayers. Sure things. Comfortable prayers.

Yep, I'm ok with those. It is the difficult prayers, uncertain things, and uncomfortable prayers that get me, especially when they are in regard to my own life. Most of my prayers are for other people. It's easy for me to believe that God wants good things for others. It is hard for me to accept that he wants those good things for me as well so I don't ask.

I've had many bold prayers that I have prayed with consistency that weren't answered the way I hoped. I've put my faith on the line many times only to have others get what I asked for, but I was left with an "unanswered" prayer. After too many of those, I began to feel like "the forgotten one" not only in my relationship with God, but with others as well. I began to see myself as someone who’s thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams didn't matter.

The forgotten one.

 Source: Public Domain

What happened was a huge block of doubt and disbelief got dumped into my prayer life without me even noticing. It sat there for many years causing me to question the point and effectiveness of prayers. I began to only pray those safe prayers that would surely be answered and go on about my business. It brought with it a darkness that clouded my vision of God's hand in my life and in other people's lives. Expecting less of God and others, I believed that if I expected little I wouldn't be disappointed when I received little, whether it was from God or mankind.

 

(Insert friend here with a suggestion to read a book about big, bold prayer for 40 days.)

 

Hmmm. Perhaps God is trying to tell me something. Surely he wouldn't torture me for 40 days by getting me to pray only to NOT answer. Fear. Trepidation. Uncertainty. AHH!

So, God and I had a "come to Jesus meeting" this morning after a long season of worship (drawn to "Oceans," of course). I left that "meeting" feeling like God was calling me to surrender the block of doubt and to accept faith and truth in its place. God wants me to know that I am not the forgotten one. He wants me to know that I am a royal child of the King of Kings. He loves me. He knows me. He sees me. He hears me. He wants to heal the hurt in my heart and teach me about the power of prayer and faith. I have been remembered. I have chosen to accept his offer and to shed this old identity and accept my true identity in Christ.

1 John 3:1a - The Father has loved us so much! This shows how much he loved us: We are called children of God. And we really are his children. 

 

I bet there are others out there like me who have believed the lies and allowed a block of doubt to hinder your faith and trust in God. You have nothing to fear. He wants you to let it go as well. He wants to show you how much you are loved and he wants you to see the GOOD plans he has for YOU. Join me in throwing off the old identity (whatever yours may be) and accepting your true identity as a royal child of the King of Kings. You are not the forgotten one either. He loves you. He knows you. He sees you. He hears you. He wants to heal the hurt in your heart and teach you something. Listen.

 

With love,

 

The Remembered One

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What a Wild Ride, Man!

I can't believe that today is the last day of my 30-day challenge. What's more is that I can't believe I completed it without skipping any days! I have learned so much about the God I serve and I will never be the same. I feel like God has allowed my eyes to be opened to some new things that have altered who I am, how I think, and how I look at life. I feel peace where there used to be worry. I feel joy and certainty where there used to be confusion. I feel so much more deeply connected to the Father and it's hard to believe that it all started with just thinking about Him on the way to and from work! It's shocking to scroll back through the last 30 days worth of blogs and realize that all of that came from just devoting a little time to focusing my heart and mind on Him while I was in the car instead of jammin' out to music.

My commute is 20 minutes. So each day, I was able to devote 40 minutes each day to prayer and meditation on the names and attributes of God. Even if all you've got is a 5 minute commute, I seriously challenge you to try this on your own for 30 days.

I certainly didn't arrive at all the answers to the mysteries of God. Who can really do that? But even so, it is worth it to give God some time each day. I look at what He's done in me with 40 minutes a day and I'm thinking, "Hmmm....how can I sneak in even more time?!"

There's another thing I have found: meditating on God's names, attributes, and word is actually fun and addicting! I don't want to stop! I may never entirely figure Him out, but I never want to stop trying.

If you've followed this amazing journey with me, I just want to thank you! I'd love to hear your stories about what God has taught you through your journey!

If you didn't join the journey, it's never too late to start! I would challenge anyone to think about and read scriptures about the names and attributes of God for 30 days straight. Think about Him. Question Him. Ask Him "why?" Wrestle with Him. I doubt you'll be unchanged and I seriously doubt you'll see God the same as you did before you started. I know I never will!

I have been overwhelmed and humbled by His love, grace, mercy, holiness, provision, goodness, onmipotence, limitlessness, healing power, self-sufficiency, omniscience, sovereignty, wisdom, faithfulness, wrath, comforting Spirit, almighty power, position of authority, intercession, and most of all by His desire to have an intimate relationship with you and me (and the great lengths to which He was willing to go for it).

All I can do is stand in awe.

As I complete this challenge, I want to share one of favorite worship songs with you. I can't hear or sing this without getting lost in love, awe, and adoration for Abba for everything that He is. I also want to share a chapter in Psalms. Take a moment to just get lost in worship right there at your computer. He's there with you. Tell Him what you think of Him.

Psalm 33

1 Let the godly sing with joy to the LORD, for it is fitting to praise him. 2 Praise the LORD with melodies on the lyre; make music for him on the ten-stringed harp. 3 Sing new songs of praise to him; play skillfully on the harp and sing with joy. 4 For the word of the LORD holds true, and everything he does is worthy of our trust. 5 He loves whatever is just and good, and his unfailing love fills the earth. 6 The LORD merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. 7 He gave the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs. 8 Let everyone in the world fear the LORD, and let everyone stand in awe of him. 9 For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command. 10 The LORD shatters the plans of the nations and thwarts all their schemes. 11 But the LORD's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken. 12 What joy for the nation whose God is the LORD, whose people he has chosen for his own. 13 The LORD looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. 14 From his throne he observes all who live on the earth. 15 He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do. 16 The best-equipped army cannot save a king, nor is great strength enough to save a warrior. 17 Don't count on your warhorse to give you victory -- for all its strength, it cannot save you. 18 But the LORD watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. 19 He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine. 20 We depend on the LORD alone to save us. Only he can help us, protecting us like a shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we are trusting in his holy name. 22 Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone.  

Thank you for joining me on my journey! What incredible journey does He have in store for YOU? :o)