Steal My Show

So I've been feeling a blog coming on, but it's not this one. (How's that for "bait and switch?") I have it mostly finished, but there it sits in my drafts just waiting to be broadcast to the world. I must admit that there's a reason it is my "lady in waiting." Sometimes God just tells us to sit down and shut our mouths. The time will come for that one, but right now, I'm living in chaos. I am daily crying out to my Abba Father for help, strength, wisdom, and (as my mother always prayed) a bridled tongue.

A situation has presented itself in my life (ahem, reared it's UGLY head) and it's not fun. It branches into a lot of other areas of my life that mean a lot to me; so it's safe to say that currently every day is a battle for me. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who knows that I am on my ledge and he continually urges me to "guard my heart." He realizes this is a spiritual battle and he wants me to fight. I've blogged many times about my brother and the profound ways he has shaped my life. He taught me to fight and to never back down, so I'm am ready to pummel some people! However, that is not the type of fighting I need to be doing at the moment (nor is the verbal lashing I'd like to offer some people free of charge).

The Spirit of God is teaching me to wait out the storm. He is teaching me to praise him while I am hurting. Although I don't handle every problem as I should, He is still beckoning me to come....sit....pray....praise.....linger...worship. It goes against everything I am "typically" used to doing. When there's a problem, I hop right on the saddle and try to fix it. If option A doesn't work, I immediately go to option B. You get the picture. I'm a fixer. I try to fix things and fix them quickly. Unfortunately, He's teaching me that this attitude is a branch of idolatry and pride. UGH. Them again?!

I've been made aware of these issues before during my spiritual journey over the past two years. I understand that seemingly "good things" can turn into strongholds and I've had to attack a few strongholds over the past two years. It's WONDERFUL knowing how to do so. It's empowering to know that I don't have to live under the tyranny of my enemy. I have a choice. I can fight in a different way.

And guess what...

I'm choosing to fight in a completely different way than I ever have before. If you know me or you have followed my blog at all, you know I love music. I may not memorize every artist or song title, but music flows in my veins. It is my native language. It's how God and I talk oftentimes and tonight, we had a powerful conversation that I felt he wanted me to share with you. It was based on Toby Mac's new song, "Steal My Show." As it was playing on the radio, I knew I needed to take out the word "if" repeated throughout the song and make it my prayer to my Abba....my Daddy who has helped me SO much over the past several weeks.

Here is my prayer:

Abba,

Please steal my show. I'll sit back and watch you go. I know you've got something to say so please just take it away. I NEED you to steal my show. I'll can't wait to watch you go. So take it away! I surrender!

It's easy for people involved in music (in any way) to make it about them and to think the "show" is about them. I find that many of my prayers are like that. They are "me focused" and they show that my heart is self-centered. I've had to confess this to my Father in order to change my habits of pride and idolatry. It took a painful situation (all UP in my face) to make me realize that.

In my heart, I truly don't want to make everything about myself. Sometimes we make it about ourselves without us even knowing and then the damage is done (both to us and the people who've had to endure it). I hope that you can understand what I am trying to say and I hope it helps you in some way. I love people and I really want to help others even if it means I'm airing my guts publicly. It's a small price to pay to help others, help myself, and glorify the Father. After all, that's Who we are here for, right?