My Grace-o-meter Is Broken

There are some people who are always kind, encouraging and full of grace toward others. If someone messes up, they tell them it's not as bad as they think and proceed to tell them all their good qualities so they are not discouraged. I love those people! I can think of one person in particular who has been that for me. She encouraged me when I needed it the most and always has a way of cheering me up. She saw something in me when no one else did and she fought hard to give me the chance she thought I deserved. For that, I am eternally greatful. She is one of the nicest people I've ever met and truly seeks to honor God with her gifts and talents.

Not only that, but when she is faced with annoying, self-seeking people she does her best to try to make the situation not quite as frustrating for everyone else by keeping the peace, sharing a wink or sneaking in an understanding giggle. She just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright and she tries to keep everything in perspective.

I hope to be like her one day...full of grace. As it stands now, there are times when I think my "grace-o-meter" is broken. It doesn't happen often (thank goodness), but there are times when I am confronted with a mean, selfish, or obnoxious person and my grace level bottoms out and "mean nasty Christy" rises up to bear her teeth. My mind begins to spiral into the land of "I'm gonna tell you one thing, buddy!" From that point it just gets ugly.

In those moments, what's a girl to do? I found it ironic that I was faced with that situation today, of all days, when my meditation focus was on God's attriubute of being "full of grace." Hmmm. So if my grace-o-meter is broken, but God is full of grace, I guess I know who I need to go to for help when I'd love nothing more than to firmly put someone in their place.

It took a while for me to "get it." I fell into the temptation of mentally telling this person off when I realized I was not exhibiting grace. (Ouch, Lord! Did you have to step on my toes THAT hard?!) So I knew what I needed to do.

First of all, I needed to repent of my terrible attitude. Then I needed to ask God for help. HA! That sounded so nice like all I said was, "Dear Lord, help me," but the truth is that I prayed like a mad woman! I knew that left to myself, I may give in to the temptation to let my tongue fly off like toilet paper in a wind storm. I asked Him to teach me about His attribute of the fullness of grace by helping me to be graceful in this moment. I figured you might as well start with a doozie because anyone can be full of grace around a pleasant person. Grace is put to the test when it's hard.

And let me tell you....it was hard. However, in that prayer time, I also remembered the grace that was given to me when God sent His son to die for my sins. That must have been considerably more painful than what I was facing. He did it because He valued my soul just like He values the soul of the people who annoy me. He did it for the bigger picture.

That made me ask, "So what is the bigger picture of this situation?" My thoughts began to be led to how the value of people's souls are worth so much more than my dignity, pride, rights, comfort, respect, and feelings. My heart began to soften towards the situation eventually and I began to see that I stepped out of a place of full surrender in order to defend myself. I don't need to do that. If I fully trust God and truly want to surrender to Him, I need to maintain that attitude of surrender even if it means I am mistreated.

That's when I realized that God had just taught me what it means to be full of grace. In no way do I think I have arrived, but I do believe that God placed a little drop of grace (or even a big dollup) in my tank so that my grace-o-meter was revived.

Here's a little something about God's grace for you to cling to the next time your grace-o-meter bottoms out:

Ephesians 1:5-8

5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure. 6 So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. 7 He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.