Today's meditation was on a name of God, Jehovah-rophe, which means "the God who heals."
Stop there. In all honesty, this has been my biggest struggle with God. This is an area of God that I don't understand....at all. I get the fact that He provides spiritual healing, moral healing, and what some people call "the ultimate healing" which is just a nice way of saying "since your dead now, you don't have to be tormented by your diseases anymore."
What I don't understand is the physical healing. I read in scripture where He healed people. Jesus healed scores of people when He walked the earth. I have even heard of miraculous healings that couldn't be explained any other way than the prayers that were lifted up to heaven on another person's behalf.
However, I have never personally had any prayers for healing answered...that I know of. I have known some people that I have spent a great deal of time in prayer for their healing, but it never came. In fact, they only got worse with time. Because of that, I have really struggled with this aspect of God.
Let me get one thing straight, though, I fully believe in my heart that God CAN heal and that if we are healed, it is only through His power. I believe that what scripture says is true:
Exodus 15:26 (NLT)
He [God] said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you."
I believe God is our Healer in every way. I generally don't struggle with believing in the parts of God that I can not see, but I do struggle in this department. I desperately want to see God heal some people in my life right now. My heart breaks for a friend who's body is killing her ftom the inside out. I am also burdened for a gentleman at my church who has had some health problems for a while and has asked God for healing, but hasn't received it. My heart is broken that these people have desperately wanted God to move on their behalf and yet they are still sick.
These people love God. Only God knows their heart entirely, but when I look at these situations through human, faulty eyes I just don't understand and it makes me angry (can you hear my "Hmph!" and feel the vibration of my stomping foot?). There has to be more to this that we don't see and understand and I can't tell you how badly I want to understand.
This is where satan and his buddies love to sneak in and start whispering lies like:
"Well, obviously the problem isn't Him so it has to be you. Maybe you're just too sinful. Maybe He isn't listening. Maybe He doesn't care about what you care about. Maybe you're praying wrong. You'll never get this right so you may as well stop trying. Maybe you didn't say the right words in the right order. Maybe He just doesn't want to heal. Maybe He doesn't care anymore. You should be mad at Him. That'll show really Him!"
If you couldn't tell, satan and his buddies are idiots. Their jibberish makes no sense and my spirit rejects it entirely, but that doesn't mean he'll stop trying. He'll take every opportunity he can get to make us doubt God.
Even though I don't fully understand why God does what He does (after all, He is sovereign, holy, and infinite and I am not), I have learned that He is ok with us wrestling with Him. In fact, He invites it. So, I'm going to keep trying to understand this part of God even though it may take me until my "ultimate healing" to finally "get" it.
I still believe that God is all the things I've learned over the past 14 days and more. Maybe I'll learn something in the journey that will shed some light on this life-long wrestling match. Regardless, He's got my full attention.
No comments:
Post a Comment