Pity party of one, your table is ready!

The name of God that I meditated on today was "Jehovah-Jireh," which means "Our Provider." For so long, I have heard this name and I am ashamed to say that I would immediately begin to sin. I would hear someone proudly declare that "God is our provider" and instead of praising God for what He was doing in someone else's life, I would begin to feel jealous and covet the blessings they were receiving. I would compare my blessings to theirs and, of course, I would always feel like I had the short end of the stick.

Well you KNOW where that ends...."Pity party of one, your table is ready!"

This was one of the meditation topics that caused me to spent most of my day confessing my sin to God and feeling pretty stupid for my attitudes in the past. I must have sounded like and ungrateful little snot! To complain because I am not getting enough or I am not getting the "right type" of blessing is preposterous! Our pastor even preached about that at church yesterday so I guess God knew I'd need a couple of days to process this one. After all, I am pretty thick-headed, if you remember.

So I looked up this verse that describes Jehovah-Jireh:

Genesis 22:9-14

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied. 12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son." 13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."  

Here's the deal about Abraham. He and his wife were barren for a long time. They finally get pregnant when it's just about time to sign up for bed in the local nursing home. After waiting so long, they finally have their son and then Abraham is asked to go up on a mountain and sacrifice his son to the Lord. This is where every parent typically has bulging eyes and a dangling jaw as they sit in shock. They can't believe that Abraham was actually going to go through with it...but he was. Abraham was faithful and was entirely ready to trust God and obey him even when it didn't make sense...even when it hurt. (Conviction #1! This was like a big "WHAM!" right between the eyes as I asked myself how much I trusted God and how far I was willing to go to honor Him with my obedience. I'll let you chew on that one for a while. That alone will wreck you!)

But then, just as Abraham was about to sacrifice his only son, God PROVIDED a ram for him to use instead because he saw that Abraham truly was willing and obedient. He didn't actually have to kill his own son, but God looked at his heart and saw that it was full of love for Him. It was like God was saying, "Wait, Abraham! I see that your heart is pure and full of love for me. Hug your son tightly and you both can go home. I'll sacrifice my son for YOU instead."

("WHAM!" #2)

God is our provider. He may not give us the car we want, the amount of money we want, the job we want, or perfect circumstances; but He provided a substitute for our death. Instead of us having to die for our sins, he provided another option that would bring us together in Heaven. It's so easy to misunderstand things when we look at life through our "earthly glasses." It's like wearing glasses covered in mud. You can't see clearly. I don't want to see things that way anymore.

I've asked God to help me see everything clearly with truth, not selfish pity. It's time to clear the table. The pity party is over.